Once, Twice, Three times an impressionable, adolescent, pubescent girl

They say that doing something once can be an accident. If it happens twice, it can be considered a coincidence, but it typically takes something happening three times in order for it to be a trend. I'm one strike away from beginning a terrible trend in my own life. Actually it's not that terrible, it's just a little weird and something I'd rather not take pride in and gloat about. I will tell the story of strike two:

I was buying shoes at a shoe store. I was minding my own business. I was in need of a durable pair of thong sandals. After spending about an hour deciding between a pair of $55 tan leather thong flip flops and a pair of $25 tan leather thong flip flops, I hesitantly chose the latter. Turns out, a friendly lady employee of said shoe store noticed that I was buying these shoes and politely made shy eyes at me a few times when I was waiting to purchase my flip-flops and be on my way. She traveled back and forth between counter and her friend (who was watching from a distant rack of women's shoes), and finally settled in behind the counter with a writing utensil and a torn receipt.

She furiously wrote something down, and slipped it in my shoe box (side note: the people I've told this story to look at me like a I'm a crazy person when I tell them that I expected this little note to be some sort of coupon for a future purchase, or invitation to a future event at the store, but this thought actually did cross my mind, and I don't apologize for it; it's my story and I can think what I want.) After she walked away and I was shuffling my change into my pockets, we caught each other's eye one final time and I left the building. I did not, however, leave the premises. I sat in my car and looked inside my box. Sure enough there was a phone number and a woman's name residing on my $25 sandals. Now, instead of going on my merry way, I decided I'd take a shot of pimp juice and go back inside the store to look for this woman (note: I went back inside, but I did NOT, repeat did NOT have an effective plan in tact for success.) I immediately found this girl, and immediately start choking all over my words.

I started the conversation by saying "uh, I think you put your number in my box" (as I said "number," I pulled a piece of paper that I thought was the number, however, it was in fact, a one dollar bill.) Needless to say, she invited me to call her sometime later that week. Great!

So fast forward a few days later, and I did call her. Turns out, before what seemed like it could have been a great, engaging conversation (I'm sure), for some reason, I asked this woman her age. 18. She's 18. I'm 24. Awesome (or the exact opposite, please excuse me while i take a bath with a running hair dryer.) Although not illegal, many people still consider that a "weird/wrong/gross/creepy/guy taking advantage of an impressionable mind" type of situation. So this leads me to my introductory paragraph...

This is not the first time this has happened. This is rather, the 2nd time something like this has happened with a girl that is a good six years younger than me. One more time, and I will start gaining a reputation for things like this. I will not give excuses as to why this happened, because the last thing I need to start saying is "dude, she didn't look 18, she looked 25," (she does.)

I know people that have "dated" people that are significantly younger than them, and it appears I'm well on my way to being one of them.

OK a few quick links before leaving:

I saw the following video last week, and everyone I talked to that had seen it (except my friend Breezy, which shouldn't discourage anyone from watching the video below, because her idea of humor is repeatedly, ruthlessly and publicly humiliating someone over something that she thinks she can do better...like living and working and trying to create a career for oneself) thought it was funny and hilarious and hysterical and ok...



Next is a story out of Mexico City. Imagine what these people thought. Can you imagine being the guy who had to go to work that day, telling his coworkers that he was attacked by this guy? What is his self esteem like? I'm gonna need a follow up story on this. I'm gonna need to know the mental state of this attackee. Let's get someone from USA Today on this please. If he's feeling a little lonely and dejected by society in his shame, I know a great shoe sales-girl that we should set him up with.