Friday, August 15, 2008

Guns Don’t Kill People, Failed Dress Code Policies Do

Remember how I said that I can’t seem to unsubscribe from CNN’s daily Top 10 emails? Well MSNBC recently joined in on the onslaught – sending me anywhere up to 35 emails per day containing “breaking news” that hit my inbox like the waves of a never-ending annoying ocean.

It’s questionable whether I ever signed up to receive CNN’s emails. I visit on a daily basis, so I could see how I could get tangled up in all the up-to-the-minute-news-goodness; making my finger become a loose cannon as I start clicking on things that sign me up to receive emails 20 times a day.

But MSNBC??? I haven’t been to their website since it was the default homepage on my two-year old dell laptop I use for work. To give you an idea of how many emails I receive per day – I’m writing this at 2:33pm EST on Friday afternoon and I already have 14 emails from MSNBC for the day. (As I was typing this paragraph, I received number 15)

Now most would say that I’m receiving Spam or Spyware…and I’m pretty sure they’d be right. But I’m no fool, I see the letters “MSNBC” and I know what that stands for… “trustworthy” and “this is real stuff.” So I can’t help but click on it. Weird… there’s no breaking news at all! All of these emails sent me to a bunch of dead links. Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!

(Note: Sure enough – as soon as I clicked on the link, my computer started vacuuming demons into it – ultimately leading to my wallpaper (permanently) disappearing and a sign reading: Warning, you have 687 (not an exaggeration) viruses on your computer. Good Times.)

Anyways – before I knew the emails were from an imposter MSNBC, I went to the real MSNBC site to unsubscribe from the emails they were, in fact, not sending me. And I read this very real story.

This dynamic duo of parents are suing their slain son’s school system because the school allowed the boy to wear makeup and feminine clothes – ultimately, the parents believe, leading to his murder on school grounds.

Their son was 15 years old and in 8th grade when he was shot…which means he a) wasn’t legally an adult or legally qualified to live by himself, b) could not sneak out of the house early so mom and dad wouldn’t see him, and drive to school in a car. He either got a ride from the parents or the bus, or he walked to school.

So in other words, the parents, whom I assume lived in the same building as their son, are suing the school for allowing their son to look the way he looked when they let him walk out of their house every morning. The school let a child bring a gun to school, but the victim’s parents are choosing to sue the school for not making their boy take off mom’s makeup.

According to MSNBC, the boy’s parents said faculty members “knew their son had ‘unique vulnerabilities’ and was subject to abuse because of his sexual orientation.” How does it not click with the parents when they think to themselves, “we KNOW that you people knew of his ‘unique vulnerabilities,’” that maybe they themselves knew that information also…and probably even first!

Look, it’s a terrible terrible thing to experience a tragedy such as this. And it’s even worse that it’s an apparent hate crime. And if it’s against dress code for boys to wear makeup and dresses to school, then boys should not be wearing makeup and dresses, and clearly this boy was breaking that policy. But I have to believe that it’s also against school policy for a kid to possess and fire a firearm on school grounds.

Someone should tell Larry King’s (not the crotchety CNN anchor) parents that their son didn’t die because he was dressing up like a girl. He died because bullets fatally entered his body. Someone should tell his parents that if they insist on believing his life ended because he dressed up in women’s clothes, then it’s because THEY allowed it to happen first.

So really, I’m thankful for the viruses that are currently lighting my computer on fire and helping it move at the speed of a paralyzed sloth. If it weren’t for these 687 viruses I downloaded from a fake news network story email, I never would have read the real breaking news alert that people are idiotic.

1 comment:

mindy said...

Oh Tyler, your posts are a bit of a downer of late, but I definitely laughed out loud at the grand tally of viruses you managed to acquire. At least people can never say you half-ass anything, even your mistakes :)